


I’ll Sleep When I’m Dead (Or Someone Makes Me)

by MelodyoftheVoid



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Dib makes questionable life choices, Dubious Science, Fluff, Frenemies Dib & Zim (Invader Zim), Gen, M/M, Oblivious Professor Membrane, Sleep Deprivation, What else is new, he’s trying, i think, my boy needs some milk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:40:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28341051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MelodyoftheVoid/pseuds/MelodyoftheVoid
Summary: Insomnia is one thing. Self induced insomnia due to your own bad life choices is another.
Relationships: Dib & Professor Membrane, Dib & Zim (Invader Zim), Dib/Zim (Invader Zim)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 96





	I’ll Sleep When I’m Dead (Or Someone Makes Me)

Professor Membrane’s inventions rarely caught Dib’s interest. 

Logically, he knew that the work his father did was important, and it usually helped the world be less of a hellscape than it was normally, he couldn’t deny that. But forgive him if “supertoast” didn’t exactly inspire him the same way that the latest breakthrough in EMF technology did. 

Yet, here he was, in line to receive the prototype for the latest release from Membrane Labs, among the lucky few chosen. His dad was more than a little surprised when he’d asked to participate, but gladly accepted his son’s apparent excitement for ‘real science’. 

But how was Dib Membrane of all people going to turn down a solution to sleep? 

An opportunity for him to finally have not only a leg up on Zim, but to complete so many of the projects he simply didn’t have enough hours in the day to get to? Sign him up! He could go on stakeouts without dozing off, no longer leaving himself to attack or theft from the creatures he hunted. 

He still caught himself sneezing glitter after the pixie incident. 

If he could avoid that happening again, he’d pay just about anything frankly. 

The lab was sterile, as was to be expected, the smell of sanitizer and chlorine bleach heavy in the air. Dib remembered when he was younger the Professor would hoist him on his shoulder, touring him through the different experiments, showing off both the work he was doing, and his son with equal enthusiasm. 

“Ah son, I’m glad you could make it!”

The boisterous voice was as unchanging as the halls themselves, and Dib turned to find his dad… in person for once. 

“Oh, you’re here.”

“Of course son! I am overseeing these tests personally! Testing on humans is tricky business and I’m lucky the government allows me this much leeway. ANYWAYS-”

Dib jumped at the spike in volume, “Right yes, so the chip. It prevents the body from sleeping, and it keeps the body from  _ needing  _ sleep. No side effects?”

“That’s the idea! I can’t use it on myself for,” Membrane used the heaviest of air quotes, “‘ethical reasons’ and because apparently ‘we can’t risk you passing out in the lab’. But we are genetically similar, so you can help me work out the fine details. Trust me, it won’t hurt at all!”

Dib chuckled, “Dad, my pain tolerance is pretty high at this point, even if it did hurt I could handle it. If you stabbed me through the leg I don’t think I’d notice.”

Membrane paused and stared for a moment, brow furrowing. He probably shouldn’t have said that, but in his defense he’d made jokes about the mortal peril he put himself into all the time. Gaz found them funny at least. 

“Right. Well, no sense in delaying! You signed the waivers and have the progress forms?”

“Yes Dad,” Dib did his best to not roll his eyes, “you’ve had the recording at breakfast remind me for the last week and a half. I’m ready.”

The procedure itself was simple, a numbing cream was applied to the area on the back of his neck, and the chip went in. A check of his phone confirmed his suspicions. He’d spent longer waiting in the lobby for the secretary to let him in than he actually spent with his dad. But what else was new. 

As he hopped off the examination table, the professor stopped him. 

“If there are any side effects at all, let me know alright? I don’t want you getting hurt, not from one of my experiments.”

That… was unexpected. 

“Yeah, of course. No problem Dad. Are you going to be home this week?”

Despite the collar obscuring half of his face, he could see the excitement radiating off of the man. 

“Yes actually! I’ve managed to clear my schedule for both this Friday, and next Friday! So I can check in on the both of you. I can’t wait to hear what you’ve been up to!”

Dib couldn’t help but smile. It was… nice that his Dad was trying. It was certainly better than the once a year dinners and general dismissal, that was for sure.

That night, he stayed up, and just as the readout promised, and he never once felt exhausted. He finished up all of the homework he’d been dreading fitting into the rest of the week, and even got a head start on his report over the local cemetery. 

The strange liminal energy of being fully energized and awake at 3 AM was an added bonus too. He’d have to look into that phenomenon at some point. Hell, maybe even later in the week if he kept this up. 

The school day passed at its usual sluggish pace, though that could also be attributed to Dib not falling asleep in the middle of English class. It wasn’t his fault that Moby Dick was boring as sin to listen to. The long droning sections about the ‘vast infinites of the ocean’ and weird in depth explanations of whale anatomy and the rendering of blubber never failed to knock him out. Not to mention Ahab’s obsession with the whale was laughable really. You’d think after losing a leg he’d move on to just hunting regular whales. 

Who’d do anything like that?

It seemed Zim was just as bored with the lecture as he was, tinkering with some gadget or another while the teacher continued to drone on. He wondered what it was, given the shape it might be some kind of ray? 

The Irken clearly felt the intensity of his stare, turning slightly to stick his tongue in the teen’s direction. Honestly he’d expect that the bug would’ve picked up better taunts in his years here. 

Dib stuck out his tongue back. 

Hey, he never claimed to be any better.

With the ringing of the final bell, Dib took off after the retreating Zim, as per usual, but free of the usual time constraint of returning home in time to complete his homework. Saving the earth on a daily basis didn’t exclude him from deadlines no matter how many times he tried to bring it up with the administration heads. 

As it turned out, the gun was a ray, one meant to make glass cloudy. Not one of Zim’s better plans, but cloudy glasses made for a rough time fighting. At least the fact Zim screamed more often than not gave him a pretty good idea of where the Irken was at. 

In the end, the ray was destroyed, but so was this pair of glasses, so chalk that up as yet another draw. It took longer than usual to get home, but again, Dib wasn’t exactly in a hurry. He had all night. After finding a replacement pair in his room, he fixed himself some dinner then got right back to work. 

The next two days followed in similar form and fashion, and Dib was on top of the world! So many projects done, little chores completed, hell he managed to completely organize his room and laptop! He’d run out of things to do! This was great! Even though he wasn’t able to make any real progress on proving Zim’s existence (but he hadn’t really worked on that in earnest in years), it was nice to have that feeling of accomplishment. 

It was around day four when things started to get a bit… strange. 

It wasn’t unbearable, not by a mile. He’d certainly experienced worse on some of his insomnia stints, but the fatigue was familiar. As was the way his brain refused to focus on much of the world around him. 

Even Zim noticed that his reaction time was slowed, and insisted that his frenemises go and ‘rest his pathetic meatsack’ because ‘he would not fight with the Dib so weakened’. The fact that Zim fought him when he’d been much worse off before apparently not important. He appreciated the thought though, someone being concerned was nice. 

Zim being concerned was nice.

But he tried not to think too hard on that. 

Unfortunately as he sat in his room with all of his major assignments completed, he had nothing but time to think about it. Well, maybe he could sleep a little to alleviate the side effects. That would pass the time. 

The reality set in almost immediately though. Not only did the chip get rid of the need for sleep (or at least in theory, he was beginning to suspect it only worked up until a point), but it prevented him from sleeping altogether. Joy. 

Now he was left with his thoughts for the next eight hours, and with no way of getting rid of the chip until his dad came back on Friday. Whenever there was an opening, that was the  _ only  _ opening in the foreseeable future for the overworked professor. 

No matter how hard he tried, Dib couldn’t keep his thoughts away from Zim. Not in the way the bug occupied his mind most of the time, that he could handle. No, now his traitorous brain thought about the quiet moments, the small gestures the rivals shared when the animosity lulled. In those brief periods, Dib felt… close to Zim. Like he understood him? As if in another life they could’ve been friends. 

No, no that was stupid. 

But was it? 

The more he thought about it, not really. And it didn’t scare him as much as he thought it would.

In the morning, he ached more than he had before, the lack of sleep wearing on him. Dib wrote out the symptoms as best he could given the shakiness of his hand. If he was the professor’s lab rat he may as well give some good data. 

Given his spotty history with attendance at school he couldn’t really afford to take the day off, thankfully Gaz took pity on him enough to drive. The rest of the school was less forgiving, but what was he expecting? 

At the very least he couldn’t really understand much of what anyone was saying about him. Probably the usual if he was being honest. Zim kept sending looks his way, which certainly wasn’t helping matters at all. 

By sheer instinct, at the final bell he staggered in the direction of Zim’s base, against all logic telling him he should stay at home. Dib’s decision making skills were not exactly great when he was fully rested, so that wasn’t particularly out of the ordinary. 

He didn’t make it far once he got there though, Zim merely stood at the doorway while Dib tripped and fell face first trying to avoid the gnomes. The Irken then proceeded to hoist Dib up bridal style, walked inside, and dumped him on the couch. Further adding to Dib’s bewildered state, Zim brought out… medical equipment(?) and checked his pulse, bringing a hand to Dib’s forehead while he sat beside him. 

“Mmm, you’re kinda cold. ‘Ss nice.”

“Eh? Dib you’re being weird.”

“I’m fine, just can’t sleep,” Dib leaned onto Zim, finding the alien was much… softer than he thought, “ssthis stupid chip. Stops me from sleepin’. I’ll live though, dad’ll be back tomorrow, he’ll fix it.”

Zim poked and prodded at Dib’s face, finding no resistance from the teen. 

“Wow you’re even more useless than usual Dib-thing. Can’t even stop Zim like this.”

“You wish lizard,” Dib slurred out, “it’s not like you’ll try anything. You let up when I’m feeling like shit. You’re  _ sofffft _ .” 

“LIES!”

Dib winced at the shout, but didn’t make an effort to move.

“Zim is not soft, I merely require a real challenge. This is not fun to fight.”

“You think I’m fun?”

“EH? NO! No that’s not what-”

“I think you’re fun. I mean you’re the only real proof of the supernatural I’ve ever found and you’re incredible!”

Had Dib been more lucid, he likely would have commented on the bright fuchsia across Zim’s face, or the small chirps coming from the Irken. Luckily for Zim though, Dib was very much not in his right mind. So those details went unnoticed.

“Well. Glad you acknowledge how amazing I am. Now let’s get you… out of this room. Out of my base.” 

With some effort, Dib managed to get back onto his feet, wobbling back and forth. 

Unfortunately for Dib, it didn’t really get any better once he staggered into his room. The effects only compounded with the exertion of walking the several blocks home. He didn’t even hear Gaz’s concerned questions. He simply collapsed onto his bed and accepted his fate. 

Time had no meaning anymore, and neither frankly did anything else. While Dib couldn’t fall asleep, he couldn’t exactly do much else either. The deep ache in his limbs made movement all but impossible, the fog surrounding his head getting ever thicker. 

A shape moved out of the corner of his eye, but Dib couldn’t bring himself to care. He felt like he was floating, untethered to his body in any significant way. Sounds swam indistinctly, syllables unconnected to anything. The figure was… green? What a strange color, but it was pretty. Really pretty. 

The pink orbs too, sitting somewhere resembling its head, so deep, like shining nebulas. 

Green… pink… Zim. 

Huh, yeah, it looked like Zim. He giggled, imagining Zim coming in, seeing him like this. The bug always liked to stare huh? Always… observing. 

Something cool touched the back of his neck, sending chills down Dib’s spine. The sensation was light, but felt real enough to tug him back to his body. Was someone actually there? A sting of pain told him that yes, there was in fact someone or something there, and they were causing him pain. 

Then it was gone, and the full force of six days without sleep knocked him out instantly. The last sensation he registered was a faint rumbling, like a cat purring. It was nice. 

The concerned murmurs of his father brought him out of the deep slumber he’d plunged into, a gloved hand shaking his beleaguered body a gentle firmness. 

“Son, can you hear me?”

“Waa? Dad?”

His vision came back in spots, and Dib realized with dawning horror that he was not in fact in his room, but in his father’s labs, hooked up to various machines. 

“How long was I out?”

“Three days, give or take. Your little green friend told me that you were experiencing side effects and that you were barely coherent at school.”

Heat rushed to Dib’s face, “Dad I’m pretty sure he broke into my room if I remember right. Wait a minute,” he felt along the back of his neck, finding no break in the skin, “where’s the chip?! There was pain on my neck but there’s no mark what happened?!”

“Son, you were feeling the effects of six days without sleep all at once, I’m not inclined to trust in your recollections. On the other hand, the fact that the chip is gone seems to imply that it was removed. Chalk it up to a mystery!”

“Dad, I know what happened.”   
  
“We’ll simply never fully understand! But your friend did leave some get-well gifts as well.”

Dib let out a sigh, some things didn’t change. At the very least Membrane was here, he’d count that as a win. Sitting up slightly, he winced at the exhaustion he still felt, despite the past 72 hours of unconsciousness. A collection of colorful packages to his left caught Dib’s eye, and wow his father wasn’t kidding about the get well gifts. He grabbed the nearest card, and laughed at the many scribbles Gir left all over it. 

Squinting he could see in the corner was a small message Zim left, right next to a massive rainbow colored burrito. 

_ Dib idiot,  _

_ Since your inferior father unit was not going to fix the problem, Zim did it! Your brainmeats were clearly failing and that’s not what Earth I mean I want. So no more no sleep for you. Although if you have trouble sleeping again, Zim is willing to help with that. You’re an excellent source of heat so I will make use of your excess warmth. It’s the least you can do for your future ruler. Recover fast so I can properly crush you. _

_ -Zim _

Well, he didn’t often credit Zim with much, but an offer like that? He’d be lying if he wasn’t interested. 

**Author's Note:**

> A Secret Santa gift for the lovely dibothy on tumblr. I’m glad you liked Dib’s adventures in sleep deprivation. Get some rest yourself you delightful disaster you. 
> 
> Fun fact the original title was “Sleepy Moron Needs Sleep, More at 11”. I like to think I’m funny.


End file.
